


heart & mind

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, The Serum Had A Different Effect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 16:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1785889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve doubts his own good intentions.  </p>
<p>(Prompt meme fill for an AU where Steve gets telepathy instead of a super body.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	heart & mind

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://stevebucky-fest.dreamwidth.org/307.html?thread=986419#cmt986419) at stevebucky-fest @ dreamwidth: 
> 
> "Instead of working on his body, the serum expands Steve's mind. He can manipulate objects or throw up force fields with his mind. He can also do things he finds morally repugnant, such as pluck secrets from someone's mind, or order them to kill themselves. 
> 
> Bucky is scared and hopeful: maybe Steve will realize how he feels without him having to say anything, and wouldn't that be nice? Steve picks up on his fear, and is hurt because he would _never_ violate Bucky's privacy! 
> 
> Somewhere along the line, things get cleared up and there's a happy beginning for them."
> 
> This is not, actually, that fic.

There is a badge pinned to the front of Steve's jacket. No one would believe he belongs here without it. He is short, painfully thin, and the bullet wound in his leg throbs with every step he takes. He has a cane, and hobbles like the old man he should be (isn't and _is._ ) The bruises on his face and neck are a stark purple; the shadows beneath his eyes are darker. 

Little Steve Rogers, all roughed up again. 

He thinks of Bucky: That mingled look of affection and dismay as he offers his hand to Steve, careful of the cut here, the bruise there, the creak of Steve's ribs. The tilt of Bucky's head, and the sharp exhalation through his nose. "Steve, whatcha get yourself into _this time?_ " 

He thinks of _Bucky_ : "Nothing I couldn't handle, Buck," he will say, and slot into place beneath the curve of Bucky's arm. 

It is a ridiculous daydream--the kind that deserves a good rap on the knuckles for letting the mind wander. He doesn't need Sam or Natasha to warn him about unrealistic expectations. They dug three bullets out of him. There are bruises on his neck. In another world--one a hair's breadth away from his own--Steve is dead. Bled out, neck snapped, sunk to the bottom of the Potomac. 

Touching the Winter Soldier's mind felt like freezing alive, all over again. 

The badge pinned to the front of Steve's jacket gets him past the guards and their guns, past one door and the next. The concrete is unforgiving beneath his feet. His leg throbs; it is nothing compared to his heart. Sometimes, Steve still forgets that he can breathe. 

The Winter Soldier is on the other side of the observation window, and Steve is strangling on _Bucky, Bucky, Bucky._

The Winter Soldier meets Steve's eyes (so few people do). "I know you," he says. "What you are. What you can do." 

Steve says: "I'm your _friend._ " 

"I'm not. I could be." The Winter Soldier's voice is flat and untroubled. He should be frightened, Steve thinks. He should be _so very_ frightened. 

"I've thought about that," Steve admits; the confession is sour in his mouth. He doesn't look away from the Winter Soldier, as much as he wants to. "I could pour my memories of Bucky into you," Steve says. "I could make you the Bucky I remember. But--"

It would be wrong. 

It would be wrong, and Steve almost doesn't care, except: "But--you wouldn't be _Bucky._ Not really." 

(Steve isn't arrogant enough to believe that he carries everything Bucky was. He thinks he'd do it, if he could get back the man he knew. If he could do it _right._

He's thought about it.

Thinks about it. 

Wants.)


End file.
